February 2, 2011

Freedom from Freedom

Arrrrgh!

The finicky, philosophical, linguistically-anal Lyndia is arching her back over this one... Freedom?! I AM free! Free to go to India. Free to work or go back to school. Free to (hypothetically, of course) break my lease and move out of my apartment. Freedom. Yes, I've got it.

But then the other aspects creep in... Free to shop at any discount store I want? Free to eat cake for breakfast? Free to hurt someone's feelings. Free to own a firearm?! Gak! That's not right... but it's somehow all the same. But not the same at all. I didn't come to study yoga for a month to reconcile my freedom to choose shampoo brand or something.

This morning I felt something different. Yesterday in the yoga philosophy class (daily at 9am) it was a whole new word. Different Freedom. A kind of Freedom I can't say I really have. It is more the Freedom to be connected, Freedom to be in awe, Freedom to wonder, Freedom to be fearless and Freedom to relinquish control. Yes, that's the Freedom I'm searching for. That's what I want to work towards... capital "F" freedom.
The new and improved F-word.

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