High Five #9

Photos I  Juuuust Missed:

(As such... these are the ones I have in lieu to remind me of those lost photo-treasures)

1. A mother teacher her two young daughters (about 6 and 8 years old) to carry 20L water vessels on their heads

2. An elephant in front of a fruit stand... here's a fruit stand at least? And some rather cool sleeping goats...

3. A surreal looking cow on a cliff-side garbage heap that is smoking and smouldering or just this cute non-garbage cow.

 4. The Doon school dining hall just before food is devoured! Or... some of the boys at an assembly?

 5. Two Buddhist nuns laughing on a stone bridge with burgundy robes flowing in the breeze... or one monk at the temple prayer wheels...

 6. THIS monestary like, 2 seconds in the future when the lightening bolted in the sky!
 










photos property of LyndiaP April 2011

Letting Go Again

After moderately successful meditation this morning to silence my mind I am sending one last blog post from Mcleod Ganj. I had really hoped to post another short story but that doesn't seem likely. Today I've got a full day of packing up my room at Snow Heights and lugging my backpack around until 6pm when my bus leaves for Delhi. The plan is to be minimalistic with movement so it's possible I will cocoon in to a computer terminal but I think I'd rather do some cafe hopping. I've got some great books to read (a library of choices!) and I'm sure I could even finish off another story in handwritten form. The cafe hopping will be slightly essential since last night I paid a visit to the Moonlight Thali for tea and take-out and only this morning realized I didn't pay for my tea(s). I can't leave with that kind of bad karma! Plus the place was really cute & friendly! Oh and had THE BEST take out bags in the world (you'll have to wait for the photo because I am not ruining the surprise with a description).

Tonight I sleep on the bus and tomorrow I sleep my first of three nights in Delhi. For those of you worried I was going to skip out on the Wonder of the World I have also secured a train ticket to Agra to see the Taj Mahal on the 17th. That leaves me 48 hours to explore Delhi (excluding sleep-time) and about 8.5 hours to wander Agra. I was also convinced to take the "Tourist Train" for one direction of the journey - which is, apparently, even better than "First Class" - fancy seats, a good view and even food and tea service. Fine. One way - in the morning, when I can actually see stuff. For the way back I insisted on the cheaper seats. Classic frugal Lyndia style.

I hope I can post once more in Delhi after I check out the Taj Mahal but who knows what the Flow will deliver. I have had such a wonderful trip and can't believe the India portion is so close to over. I'm certainly sad but I feel so lucky to have experienced all I have. Would I do it all over again? Yes! (Well everything I blogged about and stories I've written but not shared - there were some instances of um... uncertainty, I should say, that might make my loved ones a bit nervous and some of those I would not chose to re-do, except I know they all turned out alright!)

Without a doubt this has been a Journey of A Lifetime! My heart-felt thanks and E-love to all of you who have been reading along, commenting or emailing me about the adventures. It makes it all way more worth while to know people are out there reading what I've written and caring what I do :)

Sunrise From Snow Heights

p.s. even though it doesn't fit with the blog-name I will also add any Deutchland-adventures I have time to post as well. I'll be back in Canada by, about, May 1st (if I don't change my ticket or something... and I'm thinking about it).

Seasick (2/4)

My enquiry at the (potentially) juuust right third option Snow Height Apartment for Long and Short Term Stays Attached Kitchen was for kicks. Experience tells me words like 'Apartment' and 'Kitchen' are expensive. BUT cooking-for-oneself usually saves money. And it would make my upcoming days of silence more do-able. I popped in.

The office was also mostly a convenience store stocked with chips, pop, instant noodles and powdered milk. Stock actually worthy of note were cold juice and bottled water - could be handy to have nearby! I was shown room #7, up only 12 low-grade* stairs: do-able(*low-grade as in low-incline not of low-quality). It was nearly twice the size of #104 at Happy Home and also had a private bathroom and a sunny window... attached to a PRIVATE porch... looking out onto the hills and MOUNTAINS! Damn it! It was perfect! Clean too - and probably totally unaffordable! With its cute purple bedsheets, nice black counter-top in the kitchen area, bigger TV, two lovely wooden lounge chairs, most spacious bathroom I've had in India! Boo. Now I'll have to face the budget-breaking cost, say no and go back to ironically sulk at the Happy Home. Surely I'll also be cursed with jealous dreams of these richer folks with balconies overlooking idealized scenic wonderlands (always slightly exaggerated in dreams, of course).

I asked if there was "anything smaller? Opposite brick-wall facing? Less Awesome!?" with a tear in my eye. My chaperon doesn't negotiate room rates but he does know another room on the 'first' floor (relatively speaking, it's still one storey above ground) which is currently occupied but available soon. Considering this, I ask to stand on the not-so-private balcony to assess the view. It's even sunnier than the last room but the mountains aren't as instantly visible. That makes me feel better. Not ALL the rooms at Snow Height are Awesome with a capital A.

Back at the 7-11 of Hotel Lobbies I get down to business. Since I didn't see a cooking element/stove in the kitchen I note it for potential leverage in cost negotiations. The moment of reckoning: first round prices.

"Well," says the 7-11 clerk/hotel manager, "you get it today or tomorrow?"
"Is there a difference?"
"Room 7 is only open today and number 1 only tomorrow."
I consider this and reply disappointed already, "oh, not all week?"
He seems confused. "Yes, all week too. You need how long?"

Oookay bring on the miscommunication. "I guess it depends on the price. I have my bags somewhere e..."

"400 Rupees."

"What?" I shake my head slightly to help me hear correctly.

"400 Rupees," he repeats.

"Per night?" I clarify as if he was giving me an hourly rate for REEEEALLY short-term stays. Surely my eyes have already told him there will be no haggling from this customer.

"Yes, but after 400 and 400 and 400 then 800."

"ah, okay," I say knowingly but utterly confused. The price is awesome but only for two days? Ugh. Time to employ Tactic #1. "But the kitchen didn't have the stove..." I get a blank look. "Uh, stove? The cooking element." More blank-ness. "For cooking..."

"Gas?"

oh right. Gas. "Yes! Gas. Gas wasn't there," my syntax mutating like a chameleon.

"We put that in."

There goes that barter... "Oh, oh. Good. Yes. So the room is 400 rupees for the two nights but 800 after two?"

"No."

As usual I am stumped. No? 

I'm quite sure I didn't just fantasize paying double for no reason, unless this is all a dream... but it feels more like a rocking riot in a dinghy on a stormy Universal sea of Going-with-the-Flow... I feel a bit queasy. "So I pay 400 rupees for today and 400 for tomorrow. Then 800 rupees?" Learning from past experience rewording the question can be a bit like taking a Gravol and even out the waves of confusion. Here's hopin'.

"No. You pay only 400 rupees a night. 800 rupees later."

He almost had me there. I liked the first part and then got lost again, but getting closer. Wait! Maybe the first 'you' was singular and the second was plural. Maybe? One more Question-Gravol: "How much then is it for one week? From today 8 April until April," counting on my fingers, "14. Seven nights?"

"That is," tabulates on the calculator, "2800 rupees." YES! Internal fist-pump and attempting not to look desperately excited. I ask with all the calm I can muster, "and gas is 500?"

"No, gas is 300," the 7-11 manager sighs.

"right, 300 rupees for 5kg gas," I almost giggle with happiness. I would have actually giggled but as it stands this is the second room I am procuring for the same one night and the thought of Happy reminds me of the Happy Home where my bags are. Where the key in my pocket belongs. Some where in my mind I register the comment he makes, "and 5kg gas is enough for you."

"Okay. So. Now. ... My bags are somewhere else. So. What? Can? ... Is there something I can leave to hold the...?" In my head I'm also trying to work out the cost-recovery excuse/plan for the two-room situation.

His reply is resoundingly logical, "you pay in advance. Pay one night and after pay more." Clearly. The concept of a DEPOSIT had eluded me - the giving of money is certainly the customary manner of ensuring one's space be held in a transaction like this (something I clearly have had trouble grasping lately, as per the meditation course). I just hope I won't be paying for two nights accommodation tonight... I get my Official convenience store receipt and feel giddy that now my 400rupees/night is in writing (which, for those of you converting to Canadian dollars is roughly 10). I dig out a 500 rupee bill. He asks my name. I ask one more question:

"So is it pretty quite here?"

"Oh yes!" he assures me, "mostly all girls right now. And one monk. This is before all Indians come on holiday. Now is before April 16."

"That's good. Good." NOW I get it!! This is off-season = 400 and next week the price is jacked up = 800! Why didn't he just say that? Or, rather, why did he say anything about the week for which I WASN'T inquiring. No matter. He says I need a photocopy of my passport/visa and tells me where to get it. I'm also informed he can book taxis if I want. I confirm the location of the former ("straight" back up the three-turn hill) and reject the non-human-powered-conveyance.

BAM! Thank-you Flow! You've done it again! But... maybe over done it. I'm grateful for the 100 rupees change in my pocket but 2 rooms for one night? Wait. 100 rupees in my pocket. Like "to spare"... have half-conceived plan is brewing in my mind... and I'm not proud to say it but the first version of this plan was... Here I am in the town of Buddhism, religion of compassion and moral mindfulness, within 10 km of the residence of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and I concoct a plan... to lie. Yes, my first idea was to lie to the people at the Happy Home! AND it was a good one. You'd've believed it! I even practiced it once on the first turn of the hill (which took my breath away as it was significantly more taxing than on the way down!)

Luckily for my conscience (nay, my soul!) by the top of the hill a new, more honest plan hit me like a burst of lactic acid in my hamstrings. It took until the orange steps of Happy Home to finalize it but I figured that I'd say something simple (like the truth) "I'm sorry for the inconvenience but I have other accomodations" and offer 100 rupees for their initial kindness/luggage storage. After the first flight of stairs though I pre-bartered my peace offering and decided to start it at 50 rupees in case that was considered enough for 3 hours storage (and the bit of secret laundry I'd wrap up in my towel and hid in my luggage to be unseen on the way out).

Fifteen minutes and 50 rupees later it was done, I was Happy and Happy Home-less... but not room-less. I was already half way back to Snow Height and thinking "a cab mighta been nice right about now," but struggled through it with the compassionate smiles and few cheerful, encouraging comments of random strangers in heavily accented English. (Really, three people commented in a friendly, non-hassling way and at LEAST five gave me the "you go girl" look... or at least the "you Crazy girl" look but I'll remember them all as the first version thankyouverymuch).

Plus passing on the cab probably saved me almost 50 rupees anyway. I figure I broke even for the day.

Now I sit here today at Snow Height (whoa! just realized... it rhymes with White, Snow White... and I'm "door" number 7: Snow Height, 7th Door! Ha! oh man, I'm funny) with my spacious room with a dedicated yoga-mat corner. Some laundry is now washed. My shawls and various souviners are displayed decorating wherever they can: I LOVE IT!

Oh and best of all... yes, I CAN see the snowy Himalayas FROM. MY. BED! (with purple sheets that match my earplugs). BooYeah!

To The Rockin' Flow of the Universe - Thank you! But the giving of all kinds of opportunity (and confusion) doesn't stop there, oh no! I also got pretty pumped about making my own Solo "Life-Meditation Course" schedule and made a plan with lots of yoga, writing, contemplation/meditation, (some) silence, (some) exploration and lots of Flow-Going. Very exciting indeed!

to be continued...

by LyndiaP April 2011 (part 2 of 4)

Seasick (4/4)

(I hoped to have this done for you yesterday but the ongoing-Flowing had me one day delayed. I spontaneously went on a day-trip to various monasteries and tea gardens in Himachal Pradesh. Here's the last installment of Seasick. Oh, and I have managed to finish writing another story but doubt I'll have it typed up before I leave for Germany on the 19th of April.)

First Pictures of that Excursion

Back at Snow Height 7 I ask when the gas will be delivered. Reply? 1 Hour. My estimate: 2 hours. But that's fine. I've got no where to be... anymore. I'll relax here, do some writing, gaze out my window, read some of these library books. I know! I'll test this response - it is now 1pm. I'll hang my clothes to dry, have a snack and read for an hour on the balcony (see if the gas actually arrives). After that I'll do some writing. At 2:10pm I open my journal with my itching question to the Flow of Life: "UNIVERSE WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" and hear a knock on the door. Gas Delivery. This includes not only the 5kg tank and dual-burner cook top, oh no! At Snow Height they do it up right. I also got a pot-pan hybrid, a white mug (made in India), two plastic spoons, a knife and a metal bowl. Things are set and ready for home-cooking action! My 7-11 clerk/hotel manager assumes a new role of Propane-Tank-Hooker-Uper and ensures that the cook top is attached, tested and (critically) the soon-to-be-user (Me) knows how to turn it off - in BOTH places. (thank you - I likely would have slowly gas-poisoned myself if left without instruction. Seriously. I never would have checked the second off valve. I'm not sure if I'd have been any closer to Enlightenment that way... unless someone lit a match I suppose.) His last piece of advise? My astute, multi-talented host nods at the just-delivered dishes, "I'd wash those." Check.


Apparently washing dishes was EXACTLY what I wanted to do because I felt a sudden urge to grab my shoes, reusable shopping bag and wallet and practically bowl the Gas Man over on his way out so I could purchase dish soap. As I locked the door I started my List Chant: potatoes, rice, onions, tea, milk, soap. It's best to leave the obvious one for last since I'll probably remember it no matter what. I knew it would only take about 15 minutes and it was a road I knew so no camera or other items would be necessary. Good to go. The journal remained open on the bed questioning the Universe as I rush out like a stopwatch has started.


Potatoes, onion, rice, milk, tea. Potatoes, onion, rice, milk, tea. Six items was getting a bit much to remember and I was sure I wouldn't leave without the soap.Up the Three-turn Hill chanting away (in my head of course) and by the last turn I'm breathing a bit heavy and spontaneously choosing to "just see" what this building is on the left (instead of right to the shops. This is exactly the same spot where my Lie to Happy Home dissolved into the straightforward plan of Truth Telling.) If it's something cool and this close by and I've never seen it I'd be a fool. If it's something amazing and this close by, I'll bring my camera next time.


The gate is a bit daunting, okay, really daunting, but there are other foreign-looking people going in and I see a sign that allows me to deduce I am here during "open hours" but the rest of it is in non-English: onward I go! I heard someone call it "The Temple" so maybe? Walking on I bee-line towards the next sign... with more English... about Tibet. I read it. Very informative but about a Tibetan political prisoner not about my current location. I keep walking hoping to see more signage, this time perhaps pointing me in the right direction? And I do. And it's an arrow. (How much more obvious can it get?) The text reads "Temple Entrance." Alrighty. That was clear. I walk up the plain steps and get shuffled into the Ladies line and am scanned and patted down. Happily I don't have anything in my pockets and my empty grocery bag is pretty non-threatening. I check out. I get through... to?? The Temple... courtyard. There are more, slightly more impressive, steps that I climb and in a bigger space upstairs there is a bit of a crowd gathered outside a centre-room surrounded by prayer wheels. Wondering if this is the normal crowd or a special event my awkward-politeness kicks in and I try to avoid getting in peoples' way and avoid being sacrilegious and turning my back on something sacred and avoid putting my still-shoe-clad-feet on any holy ground... mostly I just get the heck out of the way and try at assess things from the back row... where people are doing prostrations. Gak! Where can a girl just collect her bearrings here at the Temple?


I walk around the centre square room and turn the prayer wheels to calm my mind and try to figure out if I should stay or if I should I go (singing a -surely inappropriate -chorus of The Clash's song in a similar vein). I opt for the former and stay. The crowd it building and it seems like the-place-to-be. I make my final clockwise turn (the auspicious way to walk around Buddhist temples and stupas etc.) and a security-looking guy swoops in and asks me (kindly) to keep moving. This particular quite corner is quite for a reason. A reason I also do not understand but I won't let that stop me.


On my first awkward walk in the crowd I remember seeing a stack of sitting-cushions near the prostrate-ers. I head back over there and re-assess. First of all, the crowd has doubled since when I was there last and I crane my neck to find the attraction. The shrine? The monks? The chanting? All awesome, yes, but for over 100 people and growing? Most of which are seated uncomfortably on concrete (they didn't assess long enough to find the sitting cushions!) The vast majority are chatting under the silence-please sign and not doing anything close to chanting or praying or prostrations so they can't be here for a religious experience, can they? I sit down (on an already-empty cushion) and wait. Listen. Meditate.


As the crowd grows people are shifting or congregating on the left of the open door. To heighten the suspense I am feeling ever more, I am seated on the right. I see nothing. Well, that's not true. I see a monk beating a drum. I see the bottom half of a huge shrine. I see the other monk with a huge yellow hat giving offerings to said shrine. That's cool don't get me wrong. But clearly no one is looking at that... Whatever, I'm waiting it out. I am starting to feel that this chant IS the main event and if so I wish more people would observe the Silence, please.


Beside me an Australian woman with a mala is not observing the silence and when her friend joins her (led by a Buddhist nun) she responds, "oh wow, really?" when the other laywoman excitedly hisses, "I saw!" Jeez! This is like a nasty trick. Now I KNOW there's something great and have no idea what's going on. But it's something. They continue to chat but get back into the volume of silence making my eavesdropping extremely difficult. All of a sudden I get what I need. The non-mala woman whispers, "blah blah blah...so great to just be able to see the Dalai Lama like that." AH HA! SWEET! That's it! I didn't think he was in India right now. I guess that was wrong. He's here. He's the main attraction. But those women only say him because they were with the nun. Am I going to be the only sucker who didn't know where to go to see the Dalai Lama? Another woman to my other side is writing in a journal (a kindred soul) I ask her "can you just... my shoes? I'm just going to..." and point over to the left corner of the door were 20 people are standing in the space for 3. She smiles accommodatingly and understandingly. Yes! I'm going to see the Dalai Lama!


I make my way over to the corner and squeeze through a bit and am headed off by some monks/nuns. Well, shoot. They definitely get presidence. I am NOT pushing a nun in temple. So I Flow in on the Tide and go back out. After creeping back to my inauspicious shoes on my sitting cushion with an inauspicious view I kindly, silently thank my co-journal-writer for her watchful eye. Back to waiting.  Maybe he'll exit out this front door? Maybe he'll talk? Actually this crowd is DEFINITELY not big enough for a talk. I listen to the chantings. 3 minutes, 5 minutes. It's really quite lovely.


Then it stops. People of the crowd are now, actually, silent. Shifting and shuffling the crowd swells with an orderly control. It is 3:20pm. Monks begin to file out and pick up their shoes off the holding racks. Bodyguards assume their positions. Then His Holiness the fourteenth Dalai Lama comes right out the door and is only 8 feet in front of me. Honestly I felt a new kind of wave - a wave of spiritual-ness and fancy Buddhist energy. It nearly rocked my poor seasick cells sick. And I was in awe. Really. It was just so cool! I just HAPPENED to be in Dharmsala, just HAPPENED to be in the home-temple of His Holiness where he JUST HAPPENED to be presiding over the afternoon ceremonies.


Sure it might seem like a minor thing - it's not like we had tea but there is NO way I could have planned something like that. Or if I had I would have been stressed out for at least 48 hours trying to make it all work out. I strolled out of the complex with the masses feeling energized and grateful. Instead of getting silly or teary-eyed I glanced at the board outside and read the next Public Appearances of His Holiness - in two days he'll be gone again. His next stop? Ireland.


Funny, mine too. (kinda)

by LyndiaP April 2011

Breaking News

I have taken a government-bus (as opposed to a charter or "tourist" one).

I have also take a series of mini-buses... like four, subsequent to said government-bus... in one day.

and I have arrived:

In Dharmsala/Mcleod Ganj (and I am still not quite sure what exactly the difference is...)

I will (likely not) be taking a 6 day meditation course here as originally planned as my rushed email reading caused a significant oversight that most likely cost me my registration. But since I am going with the flow... I say a hearty MEH!

Am I disappointed? You betchya!
Am I totally unsure what I'm gonna do now? You know it!

Am I going to have a great time anyway? UNDOUBTEDLY!

p.s. if I am my more-than-sneaking-suspicion is accurate and I am not in the meditation course I will hit up an Internet-Cafe-Overlooking-the-Snowy-Peaks-of-the-Himalayas again and update you on the adventures in Jammu too! Spoiler alert: it was a great time.

SUPER AmritS(T)AR

Yes, it is actually Amritsar but for some reason (and far too long) I referred to it (mentally, verbally and awkwardly) as Am-rit-star... nope. I might as well call Canada something like Ken-add-aye. Anyways my Amritsari experience has been so awesome I'll never pronounce it incorrectly again!

Seriously the only bad thing (which may have more to do with Mother Nature than the city) has been the excessive amount of mosquitoe bites I've gotten... in one night while I was sleeping* I got at least 12. And I know I was sleeping because the little devil bumps of swollen itchy-ness are in practical places like between my toes, on the sole of my foot, THREE on one elbow, on the back of EACH hand and on the knuckle of my right index finger. Yes, I have an itemized list!

What makes it a Super Star? Well for one I stumbled across one of the best hotels of all (which was even recommended in my Lonely Planet guide I left at home - see how good my instincts are?!) and have had a great time with Hotel Grace as my home base. It's only a few blocks* from the Golden Temple, they are well connected for info and tours and the like and I AM EATING LIKE A QUEEN AN ARMY OF QUEENS!

*the concept of blocks does not really exist here but it's the easiest way for me to describe. I doubt the more accurate descriptions of "five cows" or "18 souveiner shops" will paint a very exact picture.

Since I am feeling a bit tired after all my adventures today (and, honestly, I was just invited for an Indian whiskey so that trumps extended blogging, sorry folks).

words, words, words!

It commenced with a couple emails, a few poems midway through and then ends with a certificate. And all the while the Contentment Study...

Words, words, words... except on "silent day" - when, I suppose, I still wrote a paper... hmm.

I graduated with my Yoga Teacher Certificate and hope I can upload the great picture from the ceremony... but no promises. Suffice it to say... I passed!

 

 

Certified Y.O.G.A

Yoga "Dancer" of Joy!

But I also wanted to share two poems (as I think both were really important to me in this part of my India journey). First, my St. John of the Cross (from the book "Love Poems from God" edited by Daniel Ladinsky)

They Can Be Like A Sun

They can be like the sun, words.

They can do for the heart

what light can

for a field.

I am sold.

And then I realized... my frame of contentment: Life as Poetry. So I will be working on that; starting with:

I Am In Between

the grace of the water

the smile of the clouds

And I am in between.

Himalayan birth canal of green

ocean of sky for its mythic decent

And I am in between.

this River Goddess to millions

this heavenly blue blanket for all

And I am in between.

on a  grey stone seat.

Mantras on the shore

majestic hills lush with trees

carry on long after, born eons before.

My dissolving white sweet

laughs of splashing boys

melting blue candle

all fade like fleeting wave-noise.

And I am in between.

LyndiaP February 5, 2011

shhhh

I did it.

I had dinner in silence. I tasted. I savoured. I slowed (well, somewhat slower). I was in silence. It was such an inspiring (and partially hilarious) experience that I knew I wanted to do it again.

So I did.

All day Friday (and all day today as well... so I wrote this yesterday to save myself as I am counting "emailing," "postcard writing," and "excessive gesticulation" as deal breakers on the silence thing).

Many people were curious as to why I was doing it or congradulated me, but really it was like Staples always says... that was easy. Really. Like, FOR REAL really! It was energizing and inspiring and I didn't "techincally" cheat once... my exception was during our three hours of "teaching class" I did the exerise when it was my turn to instruct because that is pretty unfair to my partner and to my experience as a soon-to-be yoga teacher (and potential students: "oh sorry, you have that debilitating neck injury... I didn't learn it properly. I was taking a vow of silence." uhhh, doesn't cut it.) Only three people said somehting along the lines of "Oooooh! I was wondering why you weren't talking" when I showed them my homemade "silence badge" (don't worry I have a picture... on my camera...)

That's why I wanted to try again on Sunday - our "day off" when I will have no cop-outs or lost teaching experience.

Friday though, I was so inspired to just be reflective and take things slow... so refreshing. So balancing. And then half way through supper I was struck with the thought of "silent meditation!" I found a little space and a candle and my meditation shawl (the beautiful semi-expensive-but-not-relative-to-prices-at-home equitibly-woven-by-a-women's-coop) and aimed for 20 minutes of meditation... but.. dun da da dun: 1 hour! I was impressed! And, again, inspired. THIS is what I came for. THIS is what I need to focus on.

The best meditation exercise? I focused on the phrase "Contentment leads to unsurpassed joy." And I felt it. Well... joy at least... I can't exactly quantify the "unsurpassed" part. But I do feel a bit more inspired on the Contentment Study once again.

Contentment Study

I keep mixing up the words "compassion" and "contentment."  This is especially odd because they are ENGLISH words and not things like "shaucha" and "santosha" or "dharana" and "dhyana" (which I am having little to know problem keeping straight (when I remember them at all...)

But now I know that santosha and contentment are one in the same. Well, okay I kind of knew that already... at least I did as of a few weeks ago. That's when I decided (even while still at home in the throws of moving and winter and job-ending and life upheaval) that I would be writing my paper/giving my yoga-talk on the yoga sutra* 2.42 - Contentment leads to unsurpassed joy.

I'm now on the search for contentment... intellectually and philosophically by next week, but practically for every moment... my whole life. But it's a tough one to realize. To actually, fully be content. No matter what.

Yeah, some things are easy "contenement points" a Saturday afternoon in summer when the yard work is done and you've got nothing in between you and your favourite book (except maybe the most delicious chilled glass of iced tea in the county). That's the kind of contentment you only need to acknowledge. It's the bleak-day, nothing-special assignment with cold coffee and a hang nail kinda days that "contentment" gets a lot harder. So that's why I picked it. It's actually something I look forward to learning more about and practicing.

Two things on this Contentment Study I've already learned. Gratitude is a big part of it (more on that later). And the more I get to look at amazing Indian bookstores & libraries to find sources and inspiration for this study the more content I'll be! I've got 6 new purchases including a couple books of poems so I'm pretty much delighted, never mind content!


*Patanjali's yoga sutras have been translated a great many times but a great many people. This one is just one take on it but the concept of contentment as translated from santosha is fairly consistent.

Peak Experiences

We are talking about and hearing about all kinds of amazing things and then practicing it in a variety of ways. The other day in one of the classes we were asked to share one of our "Peak Experiences" when we were connected and content and totally present and joyful in all ways. Hmmm... that's a tough-y. Not tough to determine whether or not this has happened to me... I think I've been pretty fortunate in that way, but tough to think of, explain and to do so in the next two minutes.

So my partner went first and shared a theme of experience she's had related to different meditative treatments like Reiki or massage. Hmm, good one. I can think of a few of those, but maybe there's something else... and then it hits me, or they hit me. Times when I've been writing and the time has been a blur and upon re-reading the words don't even seem familiar... but it was so totally amazing! It happened once in the Poem A Day thing I did this past November. I had a poem on my iPhone (who I miss right now but not as much as I expected... don't tell her I said that) and then in had it's first spectacular crash and I lots it. It was good. Dang it. It had been quite good... something about people talking in foreign languages... things I didn't know anything about and all the more sounded beautiful. Pretty good poem topics: language, beauty, people on a commuter train. You know.

But it was (is) lost forever. So I came up with a new one. I was a bit perturbed and it took a few minutes to find a pen and piece of paper and I came up with a line unexpectedly. Then another and another... they kept flowing together in both metre and theme and it was all stuff I knew I'd felt before but didn't ever think of poet-ing about. Then it was done and I posted it on my blog and went to bed.

About a week later I saw someone commented on it and said it was great. I re-read it and thought "I wrote this?" But it was so me that I knew I had but at the same time so not-mine that all I could do was be impressed. Not with me but with the world and the way things work and whole creative process... Peak Experience.

So I am making a list... I will include some "Lesser Peak Experiences" too because they are great to reflect on as well. The times when you don't feel exactly TOTAL BLISS but you are quite happy with life. For instance, today at lunch I offered to serve the rice. We haven't been told anything specific about serving but one of my other co-students did it at breakfast and I thought "holy awesome! I want to help too!!" So I did. And it was fun. Sure it was nice and karmic and "right" but it was also really fun.

After the meal I was on a roll and decided to throw out my candy-crutch (the sweets I brought from home as a sorry excuse for "comfort food" aka "sugar addiction"). I counted out all 43 (remaining) M&Ms from my trail mix and tossed them. Yes! Chalk it up! Then I looked around my dorm room and out the window, listened to people in the hallway making plans to go out together on our afternoon break and felt the antithesis of a Peak Experience... probably called a Self-Pitying-Bummer Moment (but don't quote me). I felt so guilty and awful for not being out there, doing things and being fun. Ugh. I hated it. It was an awful moment... and my candy-coated escape hatch had been flushed (not literally, the septic system is too delicate for TP let alone the shell that melts in your mouth and not in your hands.. or Smarties? Whatever.) I was stuck. I was boring. I was afraid of not being social enough and not making friends and then being left behind and then being stuck and then being trapped... and so I took a breath, opened the dorm-room door to the balcony and looked at the hills. Birds singing, cows mooing. The sun! The trees! The beautiful orange flowers! I felt content. In an instant: Contentment. Like *that*

The list of (almost) Peak Experiences continues. *phew*