Peak Experiences

We are talking about and hearing about all kinds of amazing things and then practicing it in a variety of ways. The other day in one of the classes we were asked to share one of our "Peak Experiences" when we were connected and content and totally present and joyful in all ways. Hmmm... that's a tough-y. Not tough to determine whether or not this has happened to me... I think I've been pretty fortunate in that way, but tough to think of, explain and to do so in the next two minutes.

So my partner went first and shared a theme of experience she's had related to different meditative treatments like Reiki or massage. Hmm, good one. I can think of a few of those, but maybe there's something else... and then it hits me, or they hit me. Times when I've been writing and the time has been a blur and upon re-reading the words don't even seem familiar... but it was so totally amazing! It happened once in the Poem A Day thing I did this past November. I had a poem on my iPhone (who I miss right now but not as much as I expected... don't tell her I said that) and then in had it's first spectacular crash and I lots it. It was good. Dang it. It had been quite good... something about people talking in foreign languages... things I didn't know anything about and all the more sounded beautiful. Pretty good poem topics: language, beauty, people on a commuter train. You know.

But it was (is) lost forever. So I came up with a new one. I was a bit perturbed and it took a few minutes to find a pen and piece of paper and I came up with a line unexpectedly. Then another and another... they kept flowing together in both metre and theme and it was all stuff I knew I'd felt before but didn't ever think of poet-ing about. Then it was done and I posted it on my blog and went to bed.

About a week later I saw someone commented on it and said it was great. I re-read it and thought "I wrote this?" But it was so me that I knew I had but at the same time so not-mine that all I could do was be impressed. Not with me but with the world and the way things work and whole creative process... Peak Experience.

So I am making a list... I will include some "Lesser Peak Experiences" too because they are great to reflect on as well. The times when you don't feel exactly TOTAL BLISS but you are quite happy with life. For instance, today at lunch I offered to serve the rice. We haven't been told anything specific about serving but one of my other co-students did it at breakfast and I thought "holy awesome! I want to help too!!" So I did. And it was fun. Sure it was nice and karmic and "right" but it was also really fun.

After the meal I was on a roll and decided to throw out my candy-crutch (the sweets I brought from home as a sorry excuse for "comfort food" aka "sugar addiction"). I counted out all 43 (remaining) M&Ms from my trail mix and tossed them. Yes! Chalk it up! Then I looked around my dorm room and out the window, listened to people in the hallway making plans to go out together on our afternoon break and felt the antithesis of a Peak Experience... probably called a Self-Pitying-Bummer Moment (but don't quote me). I felt so guilty and awful for not being out there, doing things and being fun. Ugh. I hated it. It was an awful moment... and my candy-coated escape hatch had been flushed (not literally, the septic system is too delicate for TP let alone the shell that melts in your mouth and not in your hands.. or Smarties? Whatever.) I was stuck. I was boring. I was afraid of not being social enough and not making friends and then being left behind and then being stuck and then being trapped... and so I took a breath, opened the dorm-room door to the balcony and looked at the hills. Birds singing, cows mooing. The sun! The trees! The beautiful orange flowers! I felt content. In an instant: Contentment. Like *that*

The list of (almost) Peak Experiences continues. *phew*