I am now convinced that this province is an addiction - it takes up more than my average, daily waking hours; I spend at least 50% of my income on/in it; I think about it when I am not there; and I am talking about it to other people all the time. It's no DSM-vi definition but I'm sure it's close enough to addiction.
It has not proven easy to break this habit. First, there is a great deal of emotional strain. People everywhere reminding me how little time I have left. Sometimes I wonder if I am on my deathbed because it's said with such despair. Other times it must be my long-awaited day of reckoning or surprise end to a life prison sentence; the words just bubble out like Eagle Brand® Sweetened Condensed Milk-of-happiness. I refuse to read anything into these diametrically opposed options, of course.
But it's not just that. There are other little items, mere material possessions that I didn't even think I cared about that start up some kind of projection/defense mechanism response.
Yes, I'm selling (nearly) everything.
Yes, I'm okay with that.
Yes, it'll make life easier in the long run.
But seriously, everytime someone makes an offer on my sofa am I going to tear up? No. Hopefully not after today. Eager buyers knocking down my door in the post-dinner rush. Bring it oooonn! (but do take your boots off first). It's a kitchen-supplies flea market in here. I better not start sobbing over my beautiful like-new green strainer or semi-complete set of flat ware.
I mean it's not like it's my bike or anything!
Again, the pre-trip preparations continue (anti-malarias obtained, travel insurance procured & even completed my pre-trial-run pack!) an epic battle rages... to reconcile my addiction (with life-long relapses) to Alberta. Well, not the two-foot-snowfall-car-stuck-in-parking-lot-shoveling-out-with-an-ice-scraper-no-one-helping-push-snot-freezing-ice-slipping drudgery. That's about as pleasant as... well... as it sounds.
But despite all that, I still expect withdrawals.
(only 14 days left)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback and ideas but I do request that nothing offensive, no commercial links and no spam-like messages are left here. I reserve the right to remove any and all comments that aren't appropriate.